Hello out there, Luke1428 readers, this is Mrs. Luke1428. Brian asked me to write a guest post for Valentine’s Day – I suspect he doesn’t know what to get me and is doing this for me to feed him ideas. Stinker.
Are you familiar with the nerd and free spirit concept? Basically, most couples have one nerd and one free spirit in the relationship. The free spirit loves to enjoy life to its fullest. The free spirit makes life worth living no matter the cost. The nerd is the one that makes sure there is enough money to make life worth living. The nerd is the budgeter. The nerd loves Excel. I freely admit — I am the nerd. For the love of Pete, I enjoy reconciling bank statements and preparing tax returns. I. Am. A. Nerd.
So, you’re the free spirit and it is Valentine’s Day. How do you show your nerd that you love them? Well, here’s what NOT to do –
Don’t spend unbudgeted money on your nerd. I know this will be tempting for you, but it will just frustrate them because you are acting free spirit-y. Spending money this way on a nerd is showing love the way a free spirit wants to be shown love. Look, I will be honest. The budget is our security. If you are united with your spouse through the use of a budget, then that is the nerd’s guarantee that the free spirit won’t go out and buy something expensive on a whim. To us, that’s security because we know that we’ll have enough money to pay the bills and save. So, don’t go blowing a budget to buy us a gift. It makes us frustrated and anxious.
In fact, I’ll bet that it’s inversely proportional – the more money you spend on your nerd, the less likely it is that they will appreciate the gift. We nerds like our budgets, and we like it when the budget is stuck to – even if we are the recipients.
So what do you do? If you want to show love to your nerd, you need to act like a nerd. Figure out what it is that stresses your nerd, and find a way to relieve that stress. It doesn’t always have to cost a lot of money. In fact, one of the best gifts I got from Brian was when he spent his monthly blow money on me. In our budget, we each get a certain amount of money that we can spend on whatever we want, and that month, he spent his blow money on me. That really meant a lot. Plus, he got me something that I had wanted, but I didn’t want to spend money on.
So, what do you all think? Am I out there by myself in crazy-Excel land with my reconciled bank statements? Any nerds want to weigh in on what would be a good Valentine’s Day gift?
(Of course, on Thursday, Brian will be filling in the other side of the equation – How to Shop for Your Free Spirit on Valentine’s Day.)
Prior Post: Gambling on the Super Bowl – What I Didn’t Know