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The Secret Weapon to Contentment

Hidden Nuggets Series #9 – “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” Philippians 4:11-12

Contentment - mountaintopOnce upon a time (circa mid-2002), an AmerIcan athlete produced a legendary press conference rant about the apparent need to show up for prActIce. After a first round playoff loss, his coach cAsItgated him for missing one prActIce, maybe two, maybe three…we don’t really know how many. The AgItated player argued to the reporters that a discussion about prActIce was immAterIal compared to his performance in the actual games – in what really mattered. He concluded his prActIce rant by exclAIming “How can I make my teammates better by prActIcing?”

I hated practicing basketball when tired or aching. But you are fully aware of the same thing I came to realize about practice – it produces greatness. We aren’t born instantaneously great. Greatness comes slowly over time, as our mind, body and soul learns and adapts to whatever we are pursuing.

In the verse above, the missionary Paul shares with us in the Bible the secret of contentment. He learned it. This makes me think it didn’t come naturally for him, just like it doesn’t come naturally for me.

Contentment had to be achieved…most likely through daily submission and practice.

Paul’s statement is even more compelling considering the up and down circumstances he faced. We know at times he possessed adequate clothing, ate relatively well and had money in his pockets from the financial support he received from the churches and his side hustle as a tentmaker. These must have been the best of times for him.

However, in the book of II Corinthians, chapter 11 we see a far more sobering picture. There, Paul opens a window into his life and shares with us his lowest of lows, circumstances that I would find it unbearable to live through, let alone demonstrate contentment in the middle of. The details are extraordinary:

Five times he received 39 lashes from the Jewish leaders who were trying to discourage him from preaching.

He was beaten with rods and stoned (scholars believe once to the point of unconsciousness and left for dead).

Three times he was shipwrecked and on one occasion spent a night and a day floating in a body of water somewhere.

His travels brought him into constant danger from thieves, his fellow countrymen, foreigners and even other preachers who wanted to see him fail.

He was often weary, tired, hungry, thirsty, cold and naked.

These chilling descriptions of hardship leave me wondering, “How in the world could he be content in those circumstances?” I know he was tight with God but c’mon…those are awful situations.

Happiness vs. Contentment

I have to continually remind myself there is a clear difference between happiness and contentment. Situations define happiness. Circumstances dictate our moods and feelings. The roller coaster ride of life can have us feeling elated and happy one moment and completely broken and devastated the next. Such is the fickle nature of our happiness.

I can’t imagine Paul expressed pleasure at some of the events he endured. How could you find happiness at the end of the whipping cord? The only thing there is pain and sorrow and anguish.

Contentment is different from happiness. When content, we find satisfaction in our present situation. (For Paul that was even when being beaten.) We demonstrate a peace about our circumstances, often not really understanding why we feel so peaceful. Our journey may still lead us to better jobs, a higher income or more possessions but these things are not sought after as a means to satisfy a void in our life.

A contented mind does not complain.

There are no regrets.

No envying of others’ possessions or positions.

No fears in the present or about the future.

Being content is a battle I face every day. But I’m encouraged by the words of Paul that it can be learned. If he can do it than so can I.

Practicing Contentment

Any discussion of contentment for me has to start in the spiritual realm and my recognition that I must rely on God each and every day to supply my needs. All my money and possessions flow from his goodness. He has blessed me with more than I could have imagined and I have to be a faithful steward of those resources.

From that starting point, there are practical steps that can help me learn to be content in all situations. Here are a few that I focus on:

Help others, especially those less fortunate. Nothing reveals how blessed I am than a close up look at people who literally have nothing.

Avoid comparisons. Sure the neighbor just bought a stainless steel grill with two grilling levels, four side burners, a Wi-fi hotspot and built in TV monitor. But why do I need one? My $50 charcoal grill cooks food just fine. I don’t need to play the “Can you top this?” game.

The “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome does not have a cure. It’s a disease that keeps us projecting our happiness into a never-ending future of purchases, careers and relationships. Stop chasing fulfillment with the next best thing. Be satisfied with what you already have. You may actually find some joy in it.

Our lives have imperfections – accept them. This doesn’t mean we can’t seek to improve ourselves. We cannot however, get down on ourselves because we aren’t perfect. I’ve got a newsflash for you…no one is. Build on your strengths and be awesome at something while at the same time accepting your limitations.

Have some fun. It’s fine to be driven and find new challenges. However, we have to schedule in time to relax and play. Life’s not all about the next business merger or pay raise. Play the Wii with your kids. Get outdoors. Take your spouse on a date. Host a guy’s poker night. Schedule a chick flick and coffee with the girlfriends. Read a book. Our minds need to rest from the cultural pressure to have it all. Playing can help with that.

I know my contentment will grow as my relationship with God matures and I implement some of the practical suggestions above. Perhaps one day, contentment will come more naturally for me. If I practice hard and long enough, I have to assume it will.

Where are you in the contentment battle? What helps you stay content? What’s the biggest thing you desire right now?

Image at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Next Post: How to Get Out of Debt

Prior Post: Shock Treatment to Break Your Financial Procrastination

About Brian

I'm a former private high school personal finance and Bible teacher now turned stay at home dad and blogger. My hobbies include rental real estate, running, cooking and sports. In my down time, I love hanging out with my four kids and hearing my wife talk about all the cool things CPAs do at work.

Comments

  1. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate what I have been given. It has been a challenging week, and this was a reminder I need to not worry about things I can’t control and concentrate on the good things I do have.

    • You’re welcome Kim. Glad it spoke to you in a time of need. It’s easy to slip into worry mode and begin to question our circumstances. You are not alone in that regard as it’s a natural tendency for all of us.

  2. I agree – being content is being satisfied, not necessarily being happy. My constant battle is with accepting the circumstances I have. It’s so easy for me to look at others and be envious.

    • “It’s so easy for me to look at others and be envious.” I understand what you are saying. It’s in those moments we need to put on the emotional brakes and re-evaluate why we are envious. I believe it’s OK to change our circumstances but not out of jealousy or envy.

  3. Oooh, lots to ponder there Brian…lots to ponder. One one hand I feel pretty content on a day to day basis, but it would be a lie to say I don’t want more from life. Like in the professional things I want to accomplish keeps me driving hard towards those goals…but then is that not contentment? I always grapple with that. And I know I’m not satisfied with the level of traveling I want to do right now. It keeps me motivated to earn more and save more. But again, is that not being satisfied with what is right in front of me? hmmmm

    • “…then is that not contentment?” I know what you are expressing here. It’s the reason I wrote this because I fluctuate in my own life knowing where this boundary is. I think it’s mostly wrapped up in the negative attitudes I listed. Envy, regret, complaining, fear…when I start experiencing those, I’ve crossed the line into discontentment.

  4. Great post; I needed this today, so thank you, Brian. Romania Experience had a similar kind of a post about really getting perspective about how good we have it here in America, and we do. I love too how you reminded people that along with the blessing that come from God come a responsibility to manage them wisely. Without one, the other doesn’t do much good. Have a great weekend, Brian!

    • I agree we do have it really good here when we see how others live without basic conveniences (to us) in many parts of the world. I think we tend to forget that sometimes. Glad I could brighten your day a bit. :)

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