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Why I’ll Cherish Every Moment of the Next Four Years

It’s a Milestone Monday of sorts at our household. Today at 7:45 I’ll be dropping off our four kids for their first day of school. That may seem ordinary but it’s not the start of just another school year for us. This year is a bit more special.

hourglassOur oldest daughter Kelly is entering high school.

14 years down.

4 more to go.

Four more years until…

…she likely moves out for the first time.

…she doesn’t regularly join us at the dinner table.

…she isn’t in our home church each and every Sunday.

…she really learns what it’s like to depend on herself.

…we face the college tuition bill (oops, sorry…that’s a tangent of thought for another day).

I used to not care about this stuff. When she was two, high school and college seemed so distant. I’d find myself in circles of older parents who would say, “Cherish these moments because it will fly by so quickly.” I’d politely nod at their exhortation and think, “Sure, sure…I won’t miss anything.”

Now I wonder where all the time has gone. Why did it happen so fast? How can it be 14 years since my first child was born?

Ironically, now I’m the older parent sharing the value of cherishing time with those just getting started on the journey.

Everything Has Its Time

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted…” – Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Much like money, time is a commodity of limited supply. We only have 24 hours in a day. No more and no less to accomplish whatever tasks we deem important.

Those 24-hour days build into weeks and months, becoming seasons of our lives. What we often neglect to understand as the months and years spin by is that every season we experience, no matter how short or how long, serves a purpose. That’s why people look back on their life at the end with regret. They failed to grasp the importance of each season and live it out with purpose and conviction.

Fourteen years ago my wife and I entered the planting stage for the first time. As new parents we vowed to do everything possible to nurture the young life God blessed us with. We’d take our cue from the gardener who supervises the environment, making sure the plants receive enough water and sunshine to thrive. Pull the weeds that choke out the plants and sprinkle in a dash of Miracle Grow at just the right time and who knows the quality of harvest one might reap.

Cynical parents would tell me that nurturing in the early days mattered very little. “Just wait until the teenage years,” they’d say. “Then things will be different.” Something about that didn’t sit right with me. Why would I put in all the work when they are young only to have them rebel when they hit 13? It seems like the more attention you put into any endeavor the greater likelihood it has to be successful.

So I put my hopes in that thought…and Kim and I worked really hard at parenting. Books…classes…Bible studies…support groups…being home when it counted…you name it.

Has it been perfect? No.

Do we have issues? Of course.

Will there be teen-stuff in the next few years that’s challenging? Probably so.

But I can tell you this so far…I’m really pleased with the quality of our crop. And I’m having more fun the older our kids get.

Cherish Every Moment of Your Life

I hope you read between the lines today – past the simple example of me being a proud parent – into the deeper subject matter, which is cherishing every moment you’ve been given. It’s vital to do so because the seasons of life come and go like the wind. I couldn’t have imagined writing a post like this one 14 years ago. Yet here I am entering the final stages of my first-daughter-living-at-home season.

No matter the breadth or intensity of each season, we cheat ourselves when we don’t make the most of it. That’s why I’ll eagerly be cherishing as many moments as possible during the next four years.

Questions: How do you parents feel about how quickly time moves? Anyone else experiencing the “I can’t believe my child is this old” syndrome? How do you cherish/maximize the time you’ve been given? What are you looking forward to in the next four years?

Image by Plonq at Flickr Creative Commons

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Comments

  1. I experience the “my child is how old?” syndrome each and every day. My son is 16 and driving…….it seems like yesterday that I was that age. It gives a parent a little bit of a feeling of mortality too.

  2. One of my biggest regrets about my pre-conversion life is that I didn’t have sense enough to cherish the moments. When my only son entered high school, I was worshiping Mammon by means of the self-inflicted 60-hour work week, so I missed out on so many of the milestones on his path to adulthood. He’s 38 years old now, and I thank God that we now have a great relationship…but it saddens me to think of what we might have had together as he was growing up. I wish I had known then what I know now.

  3. My daughter is only 4, but because of the move, she’s eligible for kindergarten in our new state. I have only had about a month to digest that my baby is going to start school next week. She’s ready, I think I’m ready (though there’s an awful lot to do before next Wednesday).

    I try to remember to enjoy and embrace each moment, but I’m also thankful for each new stage. I’m glad she no longer needs to breastfeed every hour. I’m glad she usually sleeps through the night 😉 I’m glad I don’t have to change poopy diapers any more. And when she gets a little older, I’ll be glad she can read. I’m not rushing to that stage – just looking forward to it 😉

    • “…I’m also thankful for each new stage.” So am I! Of course the baby stages were fun but I don’t miss any of those activities. We have one more who is almost out of the car seat stage entirely and needs some help tying his shoes. That’s pretty much going to put all the little kid stuff behind us.

  4. Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank says

    I cherish every moment because this is what life is all about. We have to cherish every bit of it so that we wouldn’t regret later on. And, I think there are more reasons to celebrate life. Just have fun and spend it more wisely.

  5. Lauren will be starting middle school next week. It’s not quite as momentous as starting high school, but this Mom is feeling a bit emotional about it. You are so right; I used to nod my head when people told me to cherish this time because it flies by. Now I am the one routinely handing out that advice! It does fly by and you do have to cherish every single moment. I look back with great pride at all Lauren has accomplished and the young woman she is blossoming into as I know you and Kim are doing the same with your daughter.

    • It’s so encouraging to see their progress. One thing that I’ve really enjoyed is beginning to have real, adult conversations with my two oldest kids.

  6. It’s uplifting to read about others who consciously make the most of every season in their lives. There is a concerning post being circulated among my friends right now. It’s from a wife to her husband, essentially telling him that life is rough right now with young kids, so she will wait it out with him and look forward to the future. I can’t fathom wishing away time like that, there is so much to experience with my husband and our children. Kelly is lucky to have such a caring father, enjoy these next few years together.

    • “…wait it out with him…” That seems very fatalistic to me. Sure life gets tough but we still need to find a way to enjoy the journey even through the challenges.

  7. As I dad of 16 year old twins starting their junior year of HS, and a third in middle school I know how you are feeling Brian. The time we have is very valuable. I’m also excited for their futures.

  8. Seasons in life are beautiful but they are also sad sometimes! It sounds like you understand that and will be ever-present these next couple of years. With all three of the kids in my family out of college (including myself), I’m sure my parents would be empathizing with you!

    • I really just don’t want to miss anything. I remember how exciting high school was for me. I want to facilitate my daughter having the same kind of experience. Me being present as much as possible will help.

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